tales of the penis...

tales of the penis...

Gebadia Smith  //  

 
Mar 22 / 12:07am

what is up mofos?

I am trying to red bull restart the heart and working on learning PHP which is like taking a pen and sticking it in your penis.  Speaking of penis, today my dog almost bit mine off.  The silly animal has this toy rope.  I am laying on my back stretching and the nut job drops the rope on my groin area.  I reach down to push the rope away cause it is just in a bad place.  Dog overshoots the rope and thank the good lord I got both undies and thick shorts on or it would of been all she wrote for my penis and thus my purpose on life.  Remember love your penis. 
 
Mar 15 / 12:07am

I would rather have it burn when I pee that watch the idiots on celebrity apprentice.

I think the part of the show I have the most trouble with is the boardroom.  A leader does not look to blame others but looks to blame himself for failing to motivate others.  Players always win and coaches always lose.  It might not always seem fair and maybe it isn't because players control the fate of the coach.  Life isn't fair, it is just something I have always believed.  I have no stomach for trashing other people because they might of struggled with the role I put them into.  To be honest I have no stomach for the female contestants.  I think Star Jones is a self involved idiot and that old lady whoever she is doesn't listen or care what other people think.  That might work in the music industry where she is a legend, but unless you are Steve Jobs with a proven track record it don't fly in business. 

Frankly I would get rid of all the women on the show.  They are all idiots and take Jose with you along with that old actor who can do crazy well.  It ain't acting 101, it is business 101.  If I need someone to dress up in drag on an aircraft carrier I would call him.  If I want someone to run a business I might have to go with the cat down the street.  Muahahaha. 

What the fuck do I know?  I can't even spell.  You couldn't pay me to wear a suit or show up with my hair slicked..actually you could. 
 

 
Feb 17 / 8:33pm

Michael Vick and the so called voices of the victims..

Dogs bark.. they don't talk.. could you imagine a whole show of dogs barking.  This is a comment I left about a story about michael vick because I dislike the level of hate. 

"The victims are the dogs not the families that adopted them. Michael didn't harm the families. They are no more a victim than any other human being in the world. Michael Vick owes an apology to the dogs and nobody else. At some point you need to move on people and let it go. It is like some of you won't be happy until we stone the guy in the streets. The messed up thing is none of you actually know the guy. You cannot know the world from the media you consume online. Seriously.

­.. does anyone stop, breath and think anymore or have we become a mob ready to hate on anyone that makes a mistake.. we gather around and point at the flaws in others as if we are perfect ourselves. You are not a god.. it is not up to you to judge another. You do not see all the variables so you cannot know the whole truth. According to the laws you claim to believe in the guy has paid his debt to society. If you believe in those laws you have to let it go.

Redemption is not something that you believe in some of the time. It is an all or none thing."

The messed up thing is half the people who hate on vick claim to believe in god.. have the people who believe in war claim to believe in god.. actually more it seems..

 

 
Jan 8 / 12:18am

what do you want to do with your life?

Although I am not working beyond what I can make online which is very little I basically need to make $2000 a month to survive and even then I am still living at home with me mom.  To be honest it isn't so bad living with my mom.  She is older now and I would worry if she lived alone.  I care more about my mom than any other person in this world so living with her is cool for me.  Someday I do want to leave but for now it is what it is.  I can't even make $2000 a month let alone enough money to move out.  It is the curse of social anxiety disorder and depression... sometimes you just fall apart to the point where you can't get out of bed.  who else is going to save you than the hero that is your mom. 

It took me longer than most people to figure out what I was good at cause I have been running from myself my whole life.  By the time I figured out I would like to learn to code I can't afford to go to school.  The 90k I spent building an app that I ended up canceling anyways is like a weight around my neck.  I should of spent the money on education.  NAIT is a school that has this really cool 2 year course and man if I knew code I would create an app a day.  It would be hardcore hack a thon, see what he could do next.  I don't suppose you could build a business plan around paying down a debt and sending me to school to learn to code? 

I tell you what.. if I win this poptent video contest I will focus all my personalites on getting some school to teach me to code. 

 
Jan 5 / 7:59pm

The only way to truth is through fiction

I know it sounds confusing.. that I might be a new age whatever the fuck that means author.  My voice, my words, my images are my ink and the web is my paper.  If you want real get off the internet, go outside.  What you see online is a poor indication of the world.  That means everything is but a story online.  That is something you can debate I am sure.  What you can't debate is I likely don't have 13+ personalities, I can't do magic, nor am I from a parallel reality.  BTW my cats are not gods.  You could not share the real stories of life in anything but fiction.  People love to rejoice in the flaws of others too much.  People are so quick to judge and never look deeper.  They want simple answers, someone to blame, something tangible and thus if I were to tell you the stories of my life I would get crucified before I could finish.  Even worse is I would end up sharing stories that are not mine to share.  It is fine for me to talk about some manly conquest cause I am a guy.. but what about that girl.. what about how it would make her look if I shared it using her real hair color, name, eyes, place she lived, height... I am not stupid mate.  I don't want to get my dick cut off and I don't want to cause others stress in terms of ex's.  Believe me I have done enough of that already.  What is real and what is fiction then? 

The emotion is real, the pain, the lessons, the insight.  The name, the place and identifying information is stripped away and replaced with who they became in my mind.  When you get older you start to understand how the past you remember is never the past that actually happened.  I can't give you the real stories in my life with all the details correct.  I like my dick. 

Plus I already lived that life.. why would I want to rehash it exactly the same.  the internet is not real.. just stupid people who think that.. you are not stupid.. maybe you are.. I might be stupid.. we are all stupid..

I am what I am..its a paradox..

 
Dec 20 / 6:47pm

I think about her way too much

The curse of having a poet for a heart is every girl you love is like the end of the world when it ends.  Not because it is the end of the world.  It just feels like the end of the world.  My thoughts wander towards that end of the world far too much.  I don't move on like I should instead holding onto some dream of what could of been had I been a better person.  I don't know if that is true. It is just easier to believe that than the reality which is maybe I am never going to be a better man. 
 
Dec 9 / 1:19am

We need to talk about istopmotion...

For all you know I could some fancy news guy in disguise.  How exactly would you know?  Maybe I have a fully functional news channel on youtube which gets more views on youtube than someone who is not on youtube.  Your beep.. it is driving me insane.  I only use 1.10.4 or something in the 1's... and you keep asking me to upgrade.  I would pay for the upgrade if only you could answer one simple question.  When I set it to take pictures every second can I turn off that annoying beep in the video.. beep.. beep..beep.. it is enough to drive a man insane.. I should know because I am that man.. who once was sane then I tried to do an istopmotion it started to beep and it fucked with my brain. 

Cheers,

They call me igebadia...

PLEASE HELP ME istopmotion to turn the beeping off.. muhahahaha

Could be worse.. at least I didn't ask you to bend over and cough... the part that messes with you about that is some doctors put the finger up the ass and some don't.. what is with that? 

 
Nov 28 / 2:38am

I should not watch movies that make me feel cause they remind of the lies we tell ourselves in life...

It is our need to have children which is the only reason we tend to stay with one person our whole lives.  Statistically speaking most of us don't ever get ever after.  At least not the first time.  After something like 18 months, a year and a bit you end up with your best friend and oh shit you don't do divorce.  50% of people do which means 40% of the people in this world are having sex with their friend.  I would suggest this is the percentage of the population who tends to send their men off to war.  My dog farts in her sleep. 

I am not good at the whole man and women thing.  I look at my life and ... what I could of been and failed to be..

 
Nov 21 / 10:11pm

Things I never have the courage to say...

You want to be a caterer all you need to do is cook food I like.  I have the best taste buds in the world.  Have you tried the candied rice and fresh mango?  What you do is have a dinner party with married adults.  Then you put on the Seinfeld about the mangos.  Trust me the fact you are serving candied rice and mango will become apparent.  This is where you want to quietly film each persons faces.  Then you send the left over to me. 

After that you want to make southern biscuits and gravy.  I love biscuts and gravy southern style.  Two of those in the microwave with a little gravy is perfect in the morning. 

You really should go to quebec and try the soup.  They do soup a 1000 times better than any cardboard you would taste here.  Hurry up and learn to cook. 

In terms of cheese and fish you should really go to england. 

Mincemeat is good but you need to prefect the pastry.. everybody makes it to thick, too heavy.  IT is a delicate balance that all people do wrong.  In terms of beef you have to learn to age beef.  Go to dubai for that.. learn to cook already..

 
Nov 21 / 8:29pm

Things I never have the courage to say...

Some guy says tomorrow he is bringing out the big guns. 

"what exactly does that mean?  You are going to eat your spinach and show off your manly arms like Popeye?  Are you going to fire guns cause knowing how to use a firearm might be useful to know in Mexico?"

It is for that travel contest I didn't win and should of cause I am the least interesting person alive.. muhahaha..

I write all sorts of random wild long emails and comments I never send or say..you will know them by this title.. call it a meme whatever the fuck that means..